PSEUDO RELATIONSHIP
September 9, 2010The “parang kayo, pero hindi” stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.
This kind of “relationship” can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.
It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang. Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon(sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangangaliwakasi “hindi naman kayo.”
This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng “kalaro.” Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect namay patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.
So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong setup ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?
Iba’t ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng “buti na iyan kesa wala” or puwede na iyang “pantawid-gutom.” Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.
For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that “kilig” feeling.
Mostly, ang rationalization ng mga napasok dito, “okay na iyun, kesa wala.”
Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn’t commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren’t ready to commit.
Ang maganda doon, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.
But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang nagmamahal ang lugi.
Una, you can’t ask siya to commit. Since it’s not really a relationship, you can’t demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo or mangsundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can’t expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the others, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?
Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him/her? You can’t be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him/her you love him/her, you can’t. Because you’re not sure if s/he’ll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.
Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and that someone hasn’t? What if you remain faithful to him/her, not entertaining others, only to find out that s/he is seeing other girls or boys?
Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no “us.” Meron lang “you and me,” hindi “us.”
Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that that someone is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.
Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up and then you’d end up hurting yourself in the process.
Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.
But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.
When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable girl, a friend told me, “Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita.”
Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang “parang kayo pero hindi” stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya� almost, but not quite.
Source: http://lovestoryblog.com/index.php?option=com_myblog&show=pseudo-relationship.html&Itemid=30
things have changed
June 11, 2010Its been quite a while..
mom’s here now, in the phils. setting herself back to the place again. I know it would be very much hard for her, quitting from her job, going back to the phils without any savings, being banned from Qatar, looking for a new job but with less salary, etc. I know everything was my fault… ALWAYS! but i’m trying my best to change everything, just for her. Because i know everything she did to us, especially to me. I love my family so much, and also kate and her dad. I said to myself that i need to grow up now. I don’t want to be a loser to them. I want to help them, especially to prove to myself and to those people that i can be a better person, a better mother and a better daughter. So much to say, but less actions. 
How stupid and lame of me!
So much for that now, I just want to be alone…
Til next time 
HOW???
January 7, 2010How can i be friends to someone i really love? it really hurts! i’m so stupid because i lose someone who really completes me.. sakit kaayo oi.. i have regreted that i left him because of my ex which is more unaccpetable… i thought my ex will really complete me.. but it wasn’t.. now im so bothered and hurt because i can never have the person whom i really love… it was so so wrong let go of him.. and i cant do anything to bring him back.. all i can do is do what he wants..to give time… i hope i can be able to cope up with this one.. i love you, but i cant leave you!
TIRED :(
October 16, 2009huhayy~!!! im here again!! telling all these stupid fucking shit things!! how could be such people do these things to me..IM SO HURT! i don’t deserve this! I’ll be over with these things someday! i’ll quit! it really hurts me so…i have loved him eventhough he’s like that.. i’m tired! FUCK SHIT!! I’ll get rid of him! I PROMISE!
PRESSURED :(
September 5, 2009hayyyyy…. i don’t know what’s going on with me. i’m tired of all these ffucking things! I don’t know what to do…..!
I am currently an IT (Information Technology) freshmen student. But as the time gets faster..the course is getting harder.. i really find the course difficult.. It has math everywhere! which is the FACT that i really hate math! then one thing also is that..i’m also afraid to shift with my course to another, because of my mom.. She said before that I should be sure of what course Im going to take because she will not let me shift into another course. Now, I have thought of the things which i really like…Taking pictures anywhere, everywhere…Having my own DSLR….or shift with the course psychology or even Fine Arts.. i really dont know what will happen.. but im thinking also that computer related course is in demand in other countries nowadays. Im really confused about this! Idon’t know whether i will tell my mom or not… huhuhuhuh……… when im alone thinking about these..only i could do is to cry silently..figuring out things… huhuhuhuuhu!!
ambot!
B.I.
August 24, 2009well..it’s been a month since i posted a blog.. well…. life’s still okay where a new loved one exists… but he’s not what you expected.. i describe him as an extraordinary person… he dress himself so untidy, worst..he’s pervert! but still i accepted who he is.. i liked him for what he is..but what is not okay for me is that he will spend renting a room but will not spend on our date especially when we will eat!!!.. WTF!! he is not what i really wanted..he’s tooo BI>> bad influence to me…..i dont know why God has given me these kind of people..i realized that there’s no one who’s perfect in this world..it’s all about accepting the person who he/she really is… but im confused about all of these things… i dont know who will be that right guy for me…whew! im tireddd!!!!!!
I HATE HIM!
July 13, 2009I HATE HIM!
ok nmn ta ko buh! then why is it that he’s still coming back! He always keep on disturbing me.. I’m already okay……!
last night we chatted again… and i can still feel that i’m longing for his love! Can’t he love me the way i love him too?????
it really hurts that im waiting for nothing! i hate him coz i love him!
i hope it’ll be over na jud.. coz it hurts to keep on missing him this way….!
Datalogistics O_o
July 10, 2009whew! it’s been a long week for me.. well, well,,…. datalogostics na akoang gika busyhan nowadays…it’s good to know a lot of students from the same school.. mga CS,IT mostly.. but as of now,wala pa ko ka know or kaila nila personally…well.. for the past few days, life seems pretty fine.. i’m okay, and everything’s okay.. i just need to be more “naning” para makaya ni nako akoa gi take na course…cge na oitt..lot of things to do pa.,… just dropping by!
I LOVE YOU BUT I LOVE HER SO MUCH! <ouch> :((
July 6, 2009señoritahSHYbonitah: hmpf! d ka kailangn mag invi oit!!
señoritahSHYbonitah: hmmm…. i hope hapi ka sa imohang decisions bah..
señoritahSHYbonitah: i understand everything
señoritahSHYbonitah: ga wait rman sad ko nga mu open ka…
señoritahSHYbonitah: even b4 i knew this wud happen
señoritahSHYbonitah: kasabot mn jud ta ko nmo kng ni open lng jud ka nko
señoritahSHYbonitah: gi kaon lng jud nmo tnan u gi say
señoritahSHYbonitah: and i know i cnt compete even a bit
señoritahSHYbonitah: dba i said, if u want to play a game then game sad ko…
señoritahSHYbonitah: pero if u had the intention 2 forget her, im willing to help
señoritahSHYbonitah: im jaz waiting nga mahitabo ni tanan..to prove that IM RIGHT!
señoritahSHYbonitah: just b strong!
señoritahSHYbonitah: u dnt nid to use other ppol to hide wat u have inside!
señoritahSHYbonitah: abi nko wise ka! padala mn sad diay ka
señoritahSHYbonitah: b happy..dont regret anything coz mao na imoha choice
señoritahSHYbonitah: i can stil b a good friend of urs!
señoritahSHYbonitah: sports lng gud!
señoritahSHYbonitah: take care lng jud..
señoritahSHYbonitah: kamo both..
señoritahSHYbonitah: and i hope she will be contented of what she has right now
señoritahSHYbonitah: i understand oit..d ko manhid!
señoritahSHYbonitah: n i know ur not sorry of wat happened dba??
señoritahSHYbonitah: bsta!
señoritahSHYbonitah: buzz lng if anything goes wrong.. and if frnds lng jpon ta
señoritahSHYbonitah: no offense! play it safe! 
señoritahSHYbonitah: u dont need to hide… ok? if u want pmn gni delete me nlng sa imo ym list..understanding au ko nmo…i was hurt but i still managed to understand you..
señoritahSHYbonitah: kasabot ko coz naagian na nko tnan..hahay
señoritahSHYbonitah: mura mn kog buang ga sturya dnhi way mu tubag
BUZZ!!!
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue * has signed out. (7/6/2009 10:40 PM)
señoritahSHYbonitah: buhi mn lgi!
señoritahSHYbonitah: i hope kasabot sad ka sa akoa gi mean..
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …….
señoritahSHYbonitah: speechless?
señoritahSHYbonitah: wahahha
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: ………………….
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: 
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: 8-|
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …im sorry
señoritahSHYbonitah: really?
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …yah
señoritahSHYbonitah: ok
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …im so sorry talaga
señoritahSHYbonitah: did u mean to hide it nko?
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …yah
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …karon ra pod ko ka ym
señoritahSHYbonitah: since we started?
señoritahSHYbonitah: ok
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …huh?
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …nope
señoritahSHYbonitah: so since wen?
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …i can’t blame myself nga love japon nako siya
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …but i learn to love you
señoritahSHYbonitah: aahahahhahah!
señoritahSHYbonitah: kabw ko
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …hayz
señoritahSHYbonitah: dba i told u b4..nver say u love me til d paka sure!
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: :-<
señoritahSHYbonitah: kasabot ko..
señoritahSHYbonitah: as in i really undrstand u!
señoritahSHYbonitah: d mn sad cgro ko manhid!
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …mi,honestly,i learn to love you man,and i honestly say nga ur so good and u learn to TRUST me,right?but napasakitan ra tika.
señoritahSHYbonitah: yeah..
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …happy man ko nagkaila ta,ur such a good friend,matod pa gani nako,ngano karon pa man ta nagkaila?!
señoritahSHYbonitah: ambot lng sad bah..gago kaayo ka..
señoritahSHYbonitah: ahahah really?
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …ngano gago man ko?
señoritahSHYbonitah: gago kaayo ka!
señoritahSHYbonitah: u managed to fool urself!
señoritahSHYbonitah: pretend ra ka nga ok naka.. u ddnt love her na..pero i cud really see nga u still loved her
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …basta mi!
My♥IsAsSoftAsTissue *: …i love you but i love her so much!
señoritahSHYbonitah: lagi oittttt!
señoritahSHYbonitah: i know!!!!!!!!!
señoritahSHYbonitah: hayyyy!!
teenage love?????
Teenage Love
“It’s staying up late for each other & barely staying awake in class the next day. It’s passing each other between class & stopping to say Hi, but ending up running to your next class right before the bell rings. It’s going to the mall, wandering around hand it hand, with a silence that’s comfortable. It’s watching a movie in the theater with his arm slowly creeping onto your shoulders, & you resting you head in his arms. It’s walking around at night, for no reason at all; his chest her head, looking at the stars. It’s uncertainity of how long it will last, a risk you’re both willing to take, even if it means you’ll have a broken heart. It’s not yet true love, not like, nor lust nor infatuation. It’s teenage love, here to stay, here to play with our hearts & never go away.”
I’m okay O_o
another day..another journey on my life… I’m now okay.. Everything’s already okay… i understand eevrything.. It’s good to know that im okay now.. HAving no harsh feelings at all.. But still i’m missing him.. I’m still waiting for the day that he will talk to me… I’m still willing to have friends with him eventhough that thing happened.. It’s just, that was part of the past days, and no need to for me to think about it again.. it will never be a big deal on my part anymore.. I just wish him luck! I’m happy whatever path he will take…as long as he’s happy with his decisions.. You know who you are, just take good care of yourself..!
Different kinds of people O_o
July 5, 2009Good day! Well, i met Shawn last night.. ehehe.. it’s nice to know him..though honestly he was not my type.. He is the kind of guy who wants life to be easy.. As what he said, “Walay nadato sa pag skwela!”. That was his answer when i asked him why did he stopped schooling.. wahahah.. well.. We have the opposite way of seeing things.. He’s also the person who’s always drinking beers, smoking.. bsta! But i can see that he is also good.. We talked about that “guy” i have… But right now.. I’m already okay.. I’ve already accepted the fact about it.. Like what i’ve said, It’ll be just fine someday.. DUHH!!! eheheh.. It’s good to know about all these kinds of people..
it hurts but i still understand O_o
July 4, 2009it’s another day..well.. this early morning, i’ve already knew what happened.He came back in the arms of her exgirlfriend..it only means that i’m right! He still loves her! It really hurts to know upon knowing.. i called him in their house but he wasn’t there. I called his other number which i knew that he’s not using it anymore… but it’s her gf who’s using it! it really hurts to know everything..it hurts to pretend that I’m okay.. But eventhough it hurts still i could feel that i understand him, it’s because i can feel that he still loves her. I think he has also made the right decision nga iyahang balikan iyaha ex than to pretend that he loves me even if not! That will surely hurt me more! haaayyyy…. This really hurts.. because I’ve already loved him even we’re just less than a month! I thought he could be the one..pero it seems that He’s too inlove with that girl… i understand man.. I hope you’ll be happy forever bsag gi ingn ana ka sa girl even befor…. Be happy.. i’ll never forget someone like you.. I’m thankful however that i’ve known a person like you..eventhough ingon ani imong nabuhat nako..basta if ever you need me..i’ll still be here to listen..im still gonna be your friend.. teehee O_o
ka sakit ba niya mo love oi!! :((
July 3, 2009kasakit ba niya mo love oi!! <<this line means,” It hurts the way he loves “
hayy.. i dont know but it really hurts! it hurts to be ignored by the man you love eventhough your so honest with him.. Why do I have to suffer this way which I’m not deserve to be! I hope i can overcome this feeling as soon as possible..or why not now????
i hate this feeling! i hate him! i hate because i love him! pls help me with this one! I’m missing him now!
We haven’t break up yet, but it seems we already do!!
i hope it’s not, because it hurts a lot!
Is he also feeling this way???
hey hey.. it’s been another day.. hahay..wa jud nako na kaya, that’s why i called him up. He didn’t showed up or even find a way to tell me how he is. I dont know what happened to him. I’m tired of this but i don’t know i’m still acting this way on him. If he really does love me then how come he acted this way? It’s very topsy-turvy thing! Well well.. I’ve learned so many things in life right now so.. I need to be tough.. I honestly need him! But how come this life is very cruel?? Why is it all of these things are happening to me?? I just hope and pray that we will be okay someday. And i hope that we would last longer. I can’t imagine myself falling inlove again! He’s special and I love him, that’s why I need him! but is he also feeling this way???
"the good and the bad"
July 2, 2009“Bad things happen in life… people hurt us, they disappoint us, believe us… sometimes its their fault… sometime its not… it just happened… but what is important is that at the end of the day… after we have cried our hearts out… we can still believe that their is something better… that their is still hope… so that no matter what happens or whatever the problem is… it too shall pass and life will go on… so the question is do we move forward too or do we let things, life, and opportunities pass us by??? there is a saying that goes what a caterpillar calls the end is what i called butterfly… there are good and bad things in life… we can choose to see what we want to see… that is what i call hope… and that’s what i called on what we achieved today…”
